Our Sick Game 2014

Sweet Valley Death has gotten on the board first in 2009 with the death of actor Ricardo Montalban. The 88-year-old has earned staked the defending champions 12-0 lead. The team that has scored first has gone on to win the championship every year of Our Sick Game.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, the annual Year In Review has been delayed another week. Please keep checking in for the always entertaining look back on the previous year of Our Sick Game.

1. ROSTERS

1a. In 2009, each roster will begin with 125 players.

1b. Owners are permitted to designate 10 keepers to carry over onto their rosters for the following season. All remaining players will return to the free agent pool for redrafting.

1c. Drafting for 2007 and all subsequent seasons will take place no later than midnight on December 31. Drafts can be conducted in person, over the phone, via instant message, or e-mail.

1d. On July 4, owners will participate in a supplemental draft. Each team will draft 1 player to represent the 56th Man. The team trailing in points on July 4 will be awarded the first pick. At the end of the year, the player will return to the free agent pool, or can be designated as a keeper.

1e. Players are ineligible for draft based on following criteria: if they are famous for reasons such as sickness or misfortune. Example: Ryan White, AIDS victim, would not have been eligible for draft because he became famous only because of his disease.

1f. Players eligible for draft include: entertainers, media members, athletes, politicians, and world figures. Spouses and children of said figures are themselves draft eligible.

1g. A calendar year is determined midnight to midnight, Eastern Standard Time.

1h. Draft order is determined by which team is trailing on the date of the draft.

1j. If following the draft a rostered player dies before the new season has begun, a compensatory pick will be awarded to the team impacted by the death.

1k. Players are considered "grandfathered" if they have been with the same team for at least three consecutive seasons. Once that has occurred, they become permanent property of that team and cannot be drafted by the other team. They are also exempt from Keeper status. There is no limit to the number of grandfathered players per team.

2. POINTS

2a. Points awarded based on player deaths. Point totals are reached as follows: 100 - age at death. Example: Kirk Douglas would earn 11 points (100-89=11).

2b. Points awarded based on age at the time of death. Example: Kirk Douglas starts the year at 89 years old. If he dies after his 90th birthday, however, he will be awarded one less point (100-90=10).

2c. Each team can designate one Moneyball player whose death can earn owners double value. Example: As a Moneyball designee, Kirk Douglas would earn 22 points (11*2=22).

2d. Points will not be awarded for unconfirmed deaths, i.e., a missing person does not constitute a death. However, if a player goes missing in August, for example, an owner can choose to designate this person as a keeper player if they have not been found by December 31. Then, if the person dies the following year, points will be assigned to that owners total.

2e. The so-called "Heather O' Rourke Clause" dictates that any drafted player under 17 years of age is subject to half point value. In other words, the death of a 12 year old would not result in 88 points. Rather, only half, or 44 points, would be awarded for the death.

2f. A player at any time may take out a 10-day, or 240-hour, insurance policy on any player on the opposing roster. The moment insurance is taken, the owner of the insured player is immediately awarded half the value of his players death total. If the insured player dies, the owner will retain his accrued points. However, the owner of the policy collects half of the player's original value. If the insured player dies after the insurance policy has lapsed, he is awarded the original value of his player plus the points he earned when the policy was taken out on his player. Example: Sweet Valley Death decides to take out an insurance policy against Ewing Oil's Ed McMahon. McMahon's value at the time is 18. Ewing Oil will be awarded 9 points. If McMahon dies while insured, Sweet Valley Death will also be awarded 9 points, or half of McMahon's value. If, however, McMahon outlives the 10-day, 240-hour policy, and dies at a later date, Ewing Oil will retain the 9 points it earned at the time of McMahon's insurance, and will earn his original 18 point value as well for a total of 27 points. If McMahon does not die, Ewing Oil will still retain the 9 points it earned at the time of McMahon's insurance.

2g. Each team has the option to take out an insurance policy once per season, but is under no obligation to ever use it.

2h. Survivor Series points are awarded at the end of the season for correctly predicting which 15 players from the opposing team's roster will not die that season. All 15 selections must survive in order to claim the points. There are no partial points awarded.

2j. Any unclaimed deaths are null and void after 90 days. If a death occurs within 90 days of Dec. 31, the death must be claimed before the end of the season. Unclaimed points cannot carry over into the following season.

2k. Beginning on the first day of October, a team can voluntarily remove their moneyball designation if it is still in play. For example, if S.V.D.'s Patrick Swayze is still alive on October 1, 2009, S.V.D. can take away his moneyball status. The catch is that double-points will automatically go to the next player to die from either team. This so called "pull the goalie" move could be a huge strategic play for a team trailing in a close contest. But having an empty net could also result in the other team putting the game away with an uncontested, double-valued death.

3. TIEBREAKERS

1st tiebreaker: Total deaths. Most total deaths on roster wins season.

2nd tiebreaker: Sudden death. Owner with the first player on active roster to die in the following calendar year wins the previous year.

4. GRAND PRIZE

Grand prize will be a DVD(s) of the winners choosing, not to exceed $50 value.

As of January 1, 2009

This season of Our Sick Game will feature a new twist. If a death is not reported or claimed by a team within 90 days, the value of the death shall be vacated. If the death occurs within 90 days of the end of the season, the team will have until Dec. 31 to claim the points. Once the season ends and a new one begins, the points are gone. There are no carry-over points.

Again, the popular Survivor Series is back and the rosters will remain 15 per team.

Congratulations to the winner of Our Sick Game 2008, Sweet Valley Death. S.V.D. proved its mettle over a grueling and exciting 12-month campaign, defeating Ewing Oil 244-126. As champion of Our Sick Game, Sweet Valley Death has earned another year with the Johnny Carson Cup, the most hallowed and cherished trophy in the world. In addition, S.V.D.'s prize will be a $50 gift card to Best Buy.

Check back soon for a recap of the 2008 Our Sick Game season.