Our Sick Game 2014

Ewing Oil has been left in a staggered state, not only by the dominance thus far by Sweet Valley Death, but by reports that one of the cornerstones of its franchise, Courtney Love, may in fact be clean and sober.

Love, Ewing Oil's 5th round draft pick, had been projected as a "lock" to die if not this season, then certainly next season by Ewing Oil's scouting department. Words like "can't miss" and "blue-chip prospect" have followed Love around for years as her drug habit and looks have worsened. Instead, with her house-arrest over and therapy going well, the next label she may be saddled with is that of an Our Sick Game "bust."

"Let me tell you what, we thought there would be no ceiling on Courtney when we drafted her in 2005, and again with the 5th pick in 2006," said a spokesperson for Ewing Oil. "You can't argue with a history of drug abuse. You can't teach drug dependancy. You either have it, or you don't. Courtney had it, we think she can get it back, and good Lord willing, she can help Ewing Oil get back in this game. She's still young and full of potential. There's still time for her to get her life going in the wrong direction."