Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Gallo Dead; S.V.D. Now Up By 83
The Sweet Valley Death machine just keeps on rolling, as today it tacked on another 3 points following the death of wine guru Ernest Gallo. The 97-year-old Gallo's death increases S.V.D.'s lead over the hapless Ewing Oil to a score of 83-0. Gallo, a 59th round draft choice, figured to play a role in this season of Our Sick Game. Most men his age rarely live to see 98, so much credit must be given to Sweet Valley Death for recognizing this unheralded talent from Modesto, California.A spokesperson for the downtrodden Ewing Oil franchise declined to comment on Gallo's death other than saying, "Goddammit, this has got to stop, right now. Would someone please step up already? Bea Arthur, Betty Ford, Lady Bird fucking Johnson... Let's go!"
