Wednesday, January 09, 2008
2007 Our Sick Game Year in Review, Part 1
The 2007 season of Our Sick Game began with two teams going in opposite directions. Sweet Valley Death still savored the flavor from its first championship in 2006, while Ewing Oil still reeled from the successful insurance policy taken out on Saddam Hussein that denied them what would have been a remarkable back-to-back title.
With momentum on their side, just over two weeks into the new year Sweet Valley Death opened the scoring with 19 points, courtesy of 81-year-old columnist Art Buchwald. One seemingly innocuous death would soon be overshadowed by one of the most spectacularly significant deaths in the history of Our Sick Game. In early February, the death of Anna Nicole Smith, 39, rocked the game to its foundation. Her 61 points represented the single largest point total in the history of the game, and less than six weeks into the season, catapulted Sweet Valley Death to an 80-0 lead. Making matters worse for Ewing Oil? S.V.D. selected Smith with their 65th, and final, overall pick in the draft following the selection by Ewing Oil of Nicole Richie.
"This game's about dying and that's what she did," said Our Sick Game analyst John Madden following Smith's death. "I don't know if anyone was looking for her to make this kind of statement so early in her career, but we knew she had the talent. Every time someone saw her, they'd always say, 'She's definitely going to die.' And Anna Nicole paid off on all that early promise."
S.V.D. would keep the hits coming in the weeks to come. Ernest Gallo, 97, and Kitty Carlisle Hart, 96, would chip in with 3 and 4 points respectively to increase S.V.D.'s lead to 87-0. The death of Boris Yeltsin, 76, in late April extended S.V.D's lead by 24 more points to 111-0. Days later, Tom Poston chipped in 15 points for S.V.D.'s sixth consecutive death and a 126-0 lead. Ewing Oil had no explanation for their slump nor S.V.D.'s dominating performance. The 2005 champions just needed one break to go in their favor to turn the season around.
Ewing Oil appeared to finally catch a break in late May when S.V.D.'s Jerry Falwell, 73, had been rushed to the hospital in serious condition. Ewing Oil then attempted to take out an insurance policy on the preacher. The policy, which would have earned Ewing Oil 13.5 points, was rejected when it was learned that Falwell had died before it could be issued. As a result, S.V.D. increased its lead to 153-0 over a dejected Ewing Oil franchise.
In another cruel twist, one of Ewing Oil's former picks, Don "Mr. Wizard" Herbert, would die in June at the age of 89 and earn S.V.D. 11 more points. This extended S.V.D.'s lead to a simply unimaginable 164-0 lead at the midway point of the season. Ewing Oil's only hope to salvage its season, and the future, would lie in its 4th of July Supplemental Draft pick.
TOMORROW: Part Two of the 2007 Year in Review
With momentum on their side, just over two weeks into the new year Sweet Valley Death opened the scoring with 19 points, courtesy of 81-year-old columnist Art Buchwald. One seemingly innocuous death would soon be overshadowed by one of the most spectacularly significant deaths in the history of Our Sick Game. In early February, the death of Anna Nicole Smith, 39, rocked the game to its foundation. Her 61 points represented the single largest point total in the history of the game, and less than six weeks into the season, catapulted Sweet Valley Death to an 80-0 lead. Making matters worse for Ewing Oil? S.V.D. selected Smith with their 65th, and final, overall pick in the draft following the selection by Ewing Oil of Nicole Richie.
"This game's about dying and that's what she did," said Our Sick Game analyst John Madden following Smith's death. "I don't know if anyone was looking for her to make this kind of statement so early in her career, but we knew she had the talent. Every time someone saw her, they'd always say, 'She's definitely going to die.' And Anna Nicole paid off on all that early promise."
S.V.D. would keep the hits coming in the weeks to come. Ernest Gallo, 97, and Kitty Carlisle Hart, 96, would chip in with 3 and 4 points respectively to increase S.V.D.'s lead to 87-0. The death of Boris Yeltsin, 76, in late April extended S.V.D's lead by 24 more points to 111-0. Days later, Tom Poston chipped in 15 points for S.V.D.'s sixth consecutive death and a 126-0 lead. Ewing Oil had no explanation for their slump nor S.V.D.'s dominating performance. The 2005 champions just needed one break to go in their favor to turn the season around.
Ewing Oil appeared to finally catch a break in late May when S.V.D.'s Jerry Falwell, 73, had been rushed to the hospital in serious condition. Ewing Oil then attempted to take out an insurance policy on the preacher. The policy, which would have earned Ewing Oil 13.5 points, was rejected when it was learned that Falwell had died before it could be issued. As a result, S.V.D. increased its lead to 153-0 over a dejected Ewing Oil franchise.
In another cruel twist, one of Ewing Oil's former picks, Don "Mr. Wizard" Herbert, would die in June at the age of 89 and earn S.V.D. 11 more points. This extended S.V.D.'s lead to a simply unimaginable 164-0 lead at the midway point of the season. Ewing Oil's only hope to salvage its season, and the future, would lie in its 4th of July Supplemental Draft pick.
TOMORROW: Part Two of the 2007 Year in Review
